The Critter's Monolougue

~*The Critter's Monolougue*~

"I'm critter with a small head and fast ticking brain, at times abnormal heart-beats. You will always find ME engaged in multitasking, with MY pandora box of strange views and nonsense ideas, those endless jabberings, thousands of penniless thoughts and zillions of unsolved questions…!

That’s my world of weirdness, wildness, confusions, dilemmas, nonconformity and quirks. It’s Good, Bad and Ugly ...

To Live, love, laugh, play, relax, rejoice, celebrate...Explore, discover, question, dare, understand, wonder, reflect...Create, care, conserve, nurture...Share, help, hug, heal, inspire.... These are just some of the ways this small creature feels about life. Do you at times feel the same?"


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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Birth of “The Smoking Club”.

"Bas Ek Hai Jindagi..Use Dhuane Mein Na Uda Meri Jaan.."said RAJ.

When The Supreme Court has banned on smoking in public places(as defined by the court of the country- a place of commons like workplace, office areas, campuses, shopping malls, theatres, cinema halls, bus stand and blah blah, where the crowd sprawls day in and day out)... still I see many people do smoke happily and carefreely….. salutes to them then.



This picture is dedicated to all those who smoke and are/were reputed FAGGERS... And when they are sent to the "No man's land" by the act "BAN ON SMOKING"...

Of course I am not a great supporter of chain smokers, though a couple of my friends are branded smokers. When today I am posting this, one person comes to mind at the immediate spur of time. That’s none else than SAPS(Saptarishi)and how can I forget his very close friend Janki.. A perfect 9/10 goes to them for the act of fagging.It wasn’t pretty shocking to me when i heard and infact saw Janki smoking inside the campus, though many guys and gurls were utterly taken aback.. Well i assured myself with the truth that she is a great gurl and can be a nice person by heart whatsoever people rumoured against her in the corridors. And poor girl was sentenced by her H.O.D for the act. Others to count are Anup and Pawan. Not to forget the new crazy guys like Kripa and Madhukar, Venky, Kundu... Then was my dad who was once a chain smoker and left smoking some 13 years back. However, I believe he also enjoys a fag at times but once in a while isn’t a crime also. I always wonder why my mom screamed then. But if he does every day, she has the right to shout and yell on him. Forget the old folk for a while. Coming to new GenX , one girl whom I can rememeber very clearly other than Janki and Kripa was Payal, my junior in my M.Sc days. These people of course enjoyed the act and never felt guilty about it.



And of course how can I forget the writer of this article, myself... Once upon a time, I was also a great fagger. But that was for a short while say about six and half months and then now of course a rare/often smoker as of the fact that I am married now and my husband doesn’t like me to be indulged in the act. Sometimes it reminds me the fun I had with the smoke, the drawings of my imagination running wild, where the space of darkness used to be my canvas and the smoke of the burning cigarette colored the imaginations. I have drawn a tigress lost in the valley, a rafflesia about to die, a river crying to meet the sea, a baby on a lotus leaf, a ball of anacondas mating, a man walking upside down on the vertical wall, a golden orb spider releasing its prey instead of gulping it down her throat, many fairies dancing in the jungle, a kamasutra redefined, a wizard carrying a sack full of small babies, a witch going to spell on Dhwaneet and he begging for rescue, a bizarre road inside the forest where the wolves are your friends, a lonesome town where none stays other than dead humans, a witch flying on its broom to the ravines of the campus to catch saw scaled vipers……. Blah blah. And they kept continuing. Infact secrets of dark heart were revealed someway like this.Of course, at times, they were normal paintings as like restricted on a canvas and were perfect artistic though they used to get over in 10 to 20 minutes on the space-canvas where as I, in real, take months to complete one painting. Today while I am writing about myself, I wonder -Had those weird dark imaginations be painted on canvas… who knows what they would reveal. May be a psycho’s mind, or may be a creative witch or just a derailed brain. Whatever that was, I loved those days and realized that a lonesome life is much better than having someone so-called “special” and so I should thank the person who made me feel so and for sure made me lonesome in my life till day.

Sometimes I ask myself if I was justified. Well the answer I always get is yes and I don’t regret for being a smoking chimney. Kaash I can get those lonesome dark nights back again. But now I have left it. Well not true for sure as somewhere in my inner heart of hearts, I want a lonely terrace where I can sit, puff out my imaginations and smoke to celebrate my freedom. That would in fact be great and mesmerizing with a cup of hot coffee in the winter nights, sitting under the cold dark sky, searching for Ursa major, Ursa minor and Orion and Saptarshi(well they are the constellations, I’m for sure fascinated towards them).

While other brands say it that “Smoking is injurious to health”, the best amongst all was Davidoff packet with a clear cut message “Smokers die younger” and Davidoff Lights is for sure my favorite, thou of lately I also like the American brand ESSE. Cigars esp. flavored ones are always welcome, most favorite of all being the vanilla and coffee, thou strawberry, mango, peach, chocolate and raspberry are of different tastes.

Back to the reality, I am deprived of smoking as that’s injurious to my weak lungs and so I do need to rethink every time I light a cigarette. I can never forget few friends like Rahul, Manish, Pranav, Raj, and Anupam making me feel so queenly and their sincere efforts to stop my bad habit. Out of all, is Mr. Gangadharan. Rahul had been a darling with all his efforts, all the way from London to make me stop smoking. I owe him a lot for that love, affection n sincere concern he then used to have and now also has. He has been a sort of pen friend. Calling IST calls and talking for hours and hours , just to make me feel nice about myself, and stop destroying ownself, only few good hearted persons can do and Rahul’s efforts were worthy to a great extent. He infact had got the idea, a sort of telepathy, that I was going to fag now bored of my lonesome life. And then the phone used to ring. But I have lied many times, as I had already taken the dose of that particular day’s poison for my lungs. Once Raj told me- “Dear amri, your strawberry lips are getting brown. Stop that smoke chimney as I love to see your strawberry colored cute small lips, chattering all the time”. Anupam said- “None will kiss you if you continue with that slow poison as they will get bitter taste”. Thanks to Chai as he didn’t hate me, kissed and loved me the most though at times I still do smoke against his will. But I always want him to feel that happiness which I get when I smoke. And I am sure one day he will.

However, the truth is I loved it and still love it, though the act of smoking started with a guilt feeling and don't know when and how I feel addicted for it. To be honest, not addicted, but i feel "break-free" and in my worlds and slowly i have learnt to enjoy that slow bitter poison. Not I, in fact all who blow the burnt smell of tobacco in the air, really relish the feel esp. releasing the hot smoke through the nostrils, they all love it. I sometimes feel there should be a smokers club where people can talk about , feel about and enjoy cigars and cigarettes…why cant that be possible if there does exist the Tobacco Research Center…ha..ha….I am sure if Chai(my better/bitter half) reads it, he is going to kill me. Never mind, I can write anything here. Even death accepted for the great cause of smoking and for all those farmers who grow tobacco plants with such efforts and the researchers who work on the hybrids of tobacco plant, those biologists who work on TMV virus…. However, the society where we stay isn’t that broad enough to realize that. And now that the law “ban on smoking” is passed, I feel my thoughts are getting encaged.

And I still see all those people enjoy their puffs they used to do…. They still smoke it out and no regrets for that then.So do I….!! A campaign against “No Smoking” where we/those people should behave neutral and just balanced. Hip- hip- hurray..Hip- hip- hurray….hip- hip-Hurray as that’s gonna be “The Smokers Club”…!!! I wonder if that's going to happen.

(Memoirs of those old days-I)

Friday, October 31, 2008

Lights and Candles..(IInd Part)




A candle to burn and just spread light... the aura of fire .

Firstly a very happy Diwali to everyone.
A healthy-wealthy, prosperous and safe deepawali... Being an ecologist,i want the diya fest to be more of eco-friendly and so less air pollution, least noise pollution and more fun and frolic...

And so a great apology for not being very sincere to my writings & all my blog pages.I always wondered about the thought of the origin of festivals. Sometimes I also thought that we should remind ourselves of why there is a tradition to gamble over this festive and religious season. When the world is no doubt facing a huge global crisis and there is economic debts downed by the country's biggest gamblers, we are here where we used to be years back, with the mood of celebrations and pomp -ceremony. "I am not crazy with gold and coins"-I would never beleive that person. ...
We all want money and we all so gamble in this way or that. We all pray the god to bestow us with health and wealth and blah blah...It is so that we all understand the nature of wealth, the nature of the Goddess Laxmi. But the fact is no one and infact anyone who wants "More and more" can never ever possess all that. All that he can do is possess his greed.. Wealth has it's own free will and will come and go beyond your own ability to control it. Like the Goddess, you may worship her, but you can never possess her !I went to that shop, my favorite, stood in front of that for three different times and wanted to buy those pendants. Thanks to the fact that i am running short of my bank balance and i was wise to think for a moment- gold or a bank balance for a future security... I was puzzled up within my won thoughts and then closed my eyes , thought of the almighty.. and then my mom and finally about myself...Ain't having enough gold and diamonds with me in my cupboards... Ain't i becoming greedy?And finally i got my answer... I dont want them for the timing....

So in the time of the Global financial crisis, it is good to think about the nature of wealth!I have realised that I have become wise and so i am glad.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Love is all round.


Long time did I post any of my thoughts. Don't ask me the reasons why i wasn't very active.

I had been busy bugged with the helm of life and so also my "SHE" and "HE".

But today only I found a thought which I can share with you all... She no doubt loves her He... and she did this gingling, mussy scrap for him.. to make him feel what she meant.. may be he can realise it someday... He isn't that bad either.
And thats what I am sure of.

And She penned down in her scribbling pad(I stole them)....


"You remind me of a flower,
Pretty, inside and outside.
A reason why people smile everyday,
A gift to all.

You remind me of chocolate,
Luscious and sweet.
Someone people can turn to in crisis,
Loved by all.

You remind me of a teddy,
Cute and huggable.
Someone people feel comfortable with,
Special to all.

You remind me of a balloon,
Happy and bouncy.
Someone people can have fun with,
Enjoyed by all.

You remind me of a lot of things,
But nothing can compare to the real person,
A friend I can look up to,
Cherished by me."
-She(Signatured)

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Birds of the...



And so goes the saying," Birds of the same feather flock together."

Current Mood: Content

Monday, March 31, 2008

April Fool..!!



I can't believe tomorrow is April 1st! Crazy. It's a bleary day today here. Lots of strong wind blow and rain yesterday.I am sure tonight also it will.
Yesterday was a nice day till the midday but soon wasnt the same scenario.
So the highlight of our week end was last night. We didnt talk at all. The calmness still resonates in the ear. I am confused and he is worried. a strange kind of gloominess has set into the room. It clean, sweet small and compact, infact very cosy also but still a kind of lonelisome ambience persists...

Of latelt he came close to me and said" Beta , am worried for u." It was a very humbling experience. It is such a blessing to have a worthy caring person in your home. With that I said, I think I will sign out now...I literally have chills thinking about it. Have a nice day and for sure a "great fool's day"

Saturday, March 29, 2008

"Far off Lies the Shore"...



Memoirs of Those Old Days..

Part I:

I stood in the beach road and looked up to the shore.. It almost touched the horizon and the horizon seemed not very far.I felt i could reach it. Walked and walked and walked till i got tired and was completely broken. But still the ray of hope was lit inside the small rooms of my heart that he will be back some day.. like the ship stuck in a tempest, far away from the mainland, in the midst of the wild roars of the sea, ready to swallow anything and infact everything it can.

Once He wrote me:

"I am really sorry that I spoilt your mood. I never wanted to hurt you.
I have come to realise that everytime things become worse. I am sorry that you feel that I am being unfairly harsh to you. As far as I can see, there is something fundamentally incompatible. You keep saying that whenever I speak I hurt you. I don't want to do that, so I think it is best for you that I don't talk to you. I'm sure you realise too that we are two very diffrent people. Since we can't see eye to eye, since you feel that I am unecessarily harsh I feel I should stop takling to you because that is the only solution. I want you to know that I wish you all the best in life, and also to realise that we are too different."

Urs .....


Part II

I should have got the hint that day itself that that sea was never mine and sailing in it can be dangerous and a misled idea in nutshell. But I did dare. May be am courageous, may be am stupid. I never knew about my emotions and i sailed and sailed till my life's ship got stucck in the tempest of your sea.

My thirst will never end as that of a man away from his home, from his mainland and here I was a outsider like the traveller lost in the search of the oasis in the midst of desert and the desire to get a drop of water to drink was the only instinct that kept him alive.

And then it was in the month of May, finally, when he said me once and for all:

"Calling myself an escapist is my excuse. The truth is that I will perhaps never ever see again. Which is why I made a great effort to see you, even for a short while, at the train station. The reasons for this are personal. I have not told them to u and will not reveal them ever till i live the end. I did what I thought was the best way to get u to hate me and eventually forget me. I wanted to cut off completely before u got involved any more emotionally. I know this would hurt her but it would be even more painful later on. I told her that if she has even a little trust on me she should believe what I am doing is better for her in the long term, however much it hurts now. I will not ask that of you. You are free to think
whatever you want. I believe I have made a mistake, that I should have been frank to you from the beginning, explaining that whats there is hidden in your mind can be never possible. However, it is much easier to look back and see what you
should have done right, rather than while you are doing it. I am afraid there is very little that I can do. It is upto you convince urself that it is just an infatuation, because in the midst of an unknown and foreign desert, you have found some small comfort in the oasis of my friendship, to heal the wounds that you have suffered because of me."

Mr. X
(Your well wisher)


Just one mail and life was shattered like the tempest stuck ship inside the sea, where u get water... but can never drink a drop.

But of lately I realise after a year and half, life isn't bad> it shows the way itself. One just needs to hold the patience like the men on the ship hold their depth of patience deep inside them. I realised many more feels that i have infact not lost anything valuable. What was not mine, i never get it and the pay off is equal every time. For the fact that " No pains, no gains" and what I hav gained now is worthless and the most precious gift... like the back of the ship into home land."

I am back to home, and my own home where am the queen of the whole world round me and get all the love and affection which i deserved forever.Ek ehsaas thats dead long time back, but yet alive somewhere..


I am slowly forgetting Mr. X for sure then and forgiving him ofcourse.

Current Mood: No regrets, just few remeberances (untold and unspoken)

Friday, March 28, 2008

Love Blossoms....!



A Dedication to Love thats all round in all forms...!!

Don't tell me of love everlasting and other sad dreams
I don't want to hear
Just tell me of passionate strangers who rescue each other
From a lifetime of cares
Because if love means forever, expecting nothing returned
Then I hope I'll be given another whole lifetime to learn

Because you gave to me oh so many things it makes me wonder
How they could belong to me
And I gave you only my dark eyes that melted your soul down
To a place where it longs to be........

Joan Baez penned these lyrics in the 1972 "Love Song to a Stranger".

It has been a great time since i read these lines and never belived on the fact that love does exist. It was when I was in school, may be class 8th, when encountered these precious lines of Joan and felt them damn shitty that time but as I grew old and older and more, i realised there must be something like emotion and love must be a part of it. Infact "Love" forms the sole attire of all emotions , whether its the feel of passion or say hatred... betrayal or possessiveness.. All are the shades of love.


No doubt the lyrics sounded me exciting and poetic like Alferd Noyes" The Highway Man". They sounded beautiful like a metamorphozed tiny stream gussing over and out from inside the rocks, like the chripping of bulbuls, like the ice covered Himalayas, like the banks desperate to get the touch of the river-water, like the air buzzing a lonesome traveller.And for sure it had to became my all time favorite. And now when I can fully fathom the meaning of the song.

I think of all I had left behind and all that I had gained through the years- Pain, hurt, suffering, lonliness, respite, depression, happiness, tears, excitement, butterflies in stomach... and more many more feels ...

Life been kinda adventorous and just giving way to chance meetings with strangers, blossoming love and a sense of liberation.

And what He once said me :
(a old chapter from the life's unravelling moments)

"Love can't be a decision. Its a feeling. If we could decide whom we loved, it would have been simpler, but far less magical..!!"

Thursday, March 27, 2008

We share the same Womb !!

We share the same womb...
We share the same food..
We drinkt he same milk that the cook gives in the vessel..
We share the same feel of being together.



We play together in the afternoon..
We are loved by thy men in the same manner..
We compete with each other..
We learn from each other...
We shared the same womb!!



We fight with each other like as if we are great enemies..
We help each other in distress..
We sleep together..
We lick each other...
We feel the same feel of being together..
As we are siblings !!



But one day will come when we wont be together..
We will leave this place and go far away...
Lost in our world..
Lost in the madness of crowd..
Lost in the feel of desire..
Lost in race of competition..
Lost in battle of life..




Howsoever ....
We will always have the same feel of togetherness,
As we shared the same womb once upon a time.
Thats the truth and the truth..
We share the same womb !!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The story of a Spider




I built the house with great effort,
Collected the cobwebs and netted them effectively..
I loved his arrival...
As I loved him so much..

I am happy, dancing in joy..
Can’t you see I’m excited?
He came into my palace..
He lived with me and shared my place,

Just for the fact that...
I needed his genes..
He gave me the genes and made me satisfied..
He gave me a new world ..
My pride of being a female

In lieu what I did..
I entrapped him, Strangulated him..
Injected my poison into his brain
And finally ...
I swallowed him, As my Prey!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Like Pearls.



Pearls are precious... and so are these...
The dew drops....

I spotted this beauty of nature on my trail in the rain forests of Talacauvery , on a spider cobweb ... a great one .... and felt like its wearing a huge a necklace beaded with pearls..

The nature's beauty is varied and no doubt astonishing....

One of my all time favorite shots..

Current Mood: Satisfied and Agile

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Take Off.



Everyone wants to feel nice n better, to fly high up in the sky of dreams like this jacana..

The flight does matter then as u expect a reward worthy as per the "take off"...

The gloominess of life vanishes and the light spreads,
the feel of the fresh air, the soft baby-handed rays of the rising sun...

this bronze-winged Jacana took off for it morning daily schedule.

current Mood: Inspired

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Spring time




Spring time...
When the winter recedes back...
The summer waiting to approach..
Cosy sunrays makes the mind feel fresh..
Allowing the birds to chirp the whole day...
Trees adorned with buds and flowers...
Of varied color..

When u feel like falling in love with it.

Thats the nature's beauty manifested..

Thats spring time..!!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

LOVE...



Love is like the seeds of life,
To root is full of pain and strife.
But to grow it's like a great Oak tree,
Straight and strong for eternity.
Love is what I offer you,
Steadfast, calm and oh, so true!
Love is life between two who shares,
A life between two who really cares.
Love is ours, if you agree,
To spend your life with me!


Jean Edwards


(Request:Due Applause from Pragyan n Hemant, couldn't get better photo for this write up other than ur Engagement shots. Hope u both wont mind will appreciate :))

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Road-side gift




Once they both were feeling gloomy. It was a Sunday afternoon.
So He asked She if she wants to go for a shopping.
Seems He has got lots of pennies with him this time, She thought and gave a freaky smile and nodded her head.

Soon they got up from he bed, winded up their romance, got dressed nicely, of course neatly. He put on his denim jeans and a white Tee shirt and she wore a gracy ashy chiffon kurta, well embroidered with silver threads and a white pajama.She put kalool in her hazel nutted eyes and then mascara on the thick eyelashes. A bit of lip gloss on the strawberry lips and now she was ready with her "typical shopping bag" and those Inblu slippers on her soft feet.

Seeing this, he realised one more thing in his life... "Girls are so much into their attire... so much into make up.. Hell on Companies like Revlon, Lakhme, bla bla... for making the cosmetics"
The first thing he realised in his whole life was girls love shopping, after meeting his She.

I doubt if ever before they went for shopping the first time, He had realised this truth. Anyways back to the story.

While She was busy inside her closet's door, he was watching her very keenly.

She was searching something in her silver foiled, well carved box, then in her leather pouch with floral prints.. and then in the hand made box from Aurobindo ashram .. and then in the drawer of the study table... finally she left the search half way and turned back ... She said-: Jaaaaanu, lets go, I cant find them anyways.. so why to bother so much and watse the time...!!"

He was pretty shocked, with excitement.

And they left their room, locked it and walked down the stairs, then through the gate and finally through the lane.. then to the main road and boarded a bus that goes to Shivaji Nagar.

The bus was crowded and both had to hanged themselves like bags from the roof.. She was a bit annoyed as she hates crowd and especially the crowded town buses. But her poor fate, she loves that guy who loves to hang himself in the bus like a bag...

They reached the bus stop and both jumped out and walked towards the wide road to go to Brigade Road.

They walked and walked by, passed by many people, of different ages, different religions, different feels and different motives. But one thing was common- "All loved to freak out in the Sunday Evening."

They walked and and finally reached the place where the shopping junction starts... M G Road intersecting Brigade Road. And standing there, He decided to go into Brigade Road. They proceeded...

She said-"Can I buy this?"
She went on jabbering in front of all the shops which she loves for window shopping. In front a great shop she stood and watched and suddenly spelled out.. "Thats a lovely teddy Poppy.. buy me on my birthday."

He stopped by a juncture.. not to forget Our "He" is finky with eating outside... they have fights very often on the menu in hotels, restruants.. and other eating places in the town... thats a perennial problem with this couple..

The evening was falling and the night was approaching..She purchased some junk things according to He. She got a kashmiri stol for her and then some nice Cds to listen. Also a big card to gift to He on his coming birthday which he wasn't aware of. He purchased a pair of sandals for him and then a big box of chocolates.. Vochelle Hazelnut( a common favorite). She purchased a flavored cigar for her. At times she is finky with few things esp. drinks and cigars. Dont make a mess of that. She has a differnet feel for these things. But He has great resent for these particulars esp social drinking, boozing, fagging.

May be one day He realise That She knows the limits and accept the fact that She is a well sounded girl with heights of .............


Well He wasnt very happy when she purchased that Vanilla flavored cigar of 60 bugs. But he could do nothing as he knew she will defend herself and they will finally land up in a messy fight on the road and he just didnt want nor intend it.

They walked and walked in the midst of the Sunday crowd in a metro in Bangalore.

Slowly the ill feel vanished and he was walking close to his soul mate trying to hold her tiny fingers and caress them. May be he loves her that much and she deserves all that. May be He realises her feeling better than her. Who knows...

And then they stopped.. in front of a footpath shop... lots of gittering things ... ladies hovering road it like flies in a fish market, like bees on flowers...

Yea He realised one thing... He went and searched in the crowdy mess.... and stopped for a while... turned back and and smiled and said-" Janu this is for u.. the gift of today's shopping."

A dangling ear-ring for his sweet heart, not less than 70 bugs... She was extremely happy and jumped.. As I say, "Women are always unexpected, but men are even more unexpected."

She never thought in her dreams that her boy-fren will gift her some thing which she was searching for a long time in the afternoon to go with her get up. A matching hanging ear ring pair for her gracy ashy chiffon kurta, well embroidered with silver threads....

She was over-whelmed and hugged him and gave a sweet peck on his cheek showing her ear to put them in their well deserved place than keeping in the envelope, inside her "mini-world" bag.

He carefully put those well deserving rings into the holes and said..." I love u more than what I u mean to me .."

She gave a sheepish smile and giggled saying all what she means in two words-" I too."

And they walked, side by side, holding each other's hand...in the crowded pavement, amongst hundreds of passers by....

And soon vanished in the midst of the Sunday crowd.


"Love conquers all things; let us yield to love."
- Virgil

Monday, February 25, 2008

Rain Rain go away ... come again another day...!!



Somethings dont change... Life paranoia... ha..ha...

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day...
Litle johny wants to play..
Rain rain go away..!!

I was not pretty small, a perfect teen of 14 years. My mommy made me learn this raga in my 4th year of music course.... "Miyan Malhar".. A raga that great musicians used to sing to get the rain fall...

Had not u been missing the great movie Guddi.." Bole re papihara" where Jaya sings the famous bandish of the raga(though a bit modified). Someone seen Lagaan... "Ghanana ghanana ghana ghira aaye badra"




Originated from the parent raga "Kaafi", MAlHAR is a versatile raga with a great use of both the NI in the raga..

I dont know what made me write this dumb things nor do i bother if anyone reads it... Malhar has ben a raga which makes me feel satisfied, joyous and playful... whenever some one says me to sing ... touch wood, i speel out this raga from my mouth... "Umada ghumad ghana barase bhundara"

Rashid Khan,one of the mesteros of Hondustani Classical, did sing a great bandish in his collections...

The way the raga begins is marvellous and a joyful experience to any musiz lover... the raga for the rainy season... malhar has the blend that will make u wet without rain drops... a raga to be loved, sung and cherished... a raga of festive times... Miyan Ki Malhar ..!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

What Geoffery Miller says?







The evolution of man and mankind goes back to millions of years. recently, I attended a talk in CES, IISc by Geoffery Miller, Prof in University if New Mexico, on the topic entitled " The Evolution of Human Intelligence and Creativity." The talk was exceptionally interesting and was skewed towards cognitive psychology giving an idea of mate choice and use to brains.The talk enclosed the fact that mates in human society are selected not on the basis of beauty or symmetry rather on the basis of kindness, intelligence and the physical fitness. Geoferry has been working on this topic for years and has written books like " The Mating Mind" and " Mating Intelligence."



Women seek for emotional support while men seek for sex?? Is that true?? research reveal something else as per Geoferry.



Sometimes back, I also did see a TV documentary about "Are male and female brains alike?". The human brain is the most mysterious piece of matter on earth. 100 thousand millions neurons determine who we are, and what we do. But it’s only now, in the 21st century, that brain scanning technologies enable scientists to watch this peculiar thing in our head while it is actually thinking.




As Geoferry said, the use of brain cells for evolution got its origin long back from our pre-ancestors. The use of brain for mate choice has been always a great topic and infact a fascinating area of research for anthropologists, psychologists, and not least for evolutionary biologists. while women search for nicer brains, males search for creativity. The feminine gender is keened onto the intelligence while the masculine one hovering onto the art of creativity. While creativity is well demarcated by verbal and pictorial attributes, the representational approach and abstract are well recognized in today's world. The payoffs, as for Geoffery are of three types:

*
Survival payoff(tool production and foraging ability) Anyone who hasn't missed Tom's "Cast Away" can better realise this payoff.

** Social payoff (that involves Machiavellian intelligence and group competition,exp: Pre-Halloween "Punkin-Chunkin")

*** Sexual( thats associated with good parenting and better genes, long term genetic diversity and short term individuals in comparison to the first, generations over generations, passing of benevolent alleles, and overcoming mutations)



Has there been no Adam and Eve, the mankind wont be existing, thats the saying goes about that Forbidden apple.


A article was found in the journal "NATURE" -"Molecular insights into human brain evolution" by Robert Sean Hill1 & Christopher A. Walsh. The summary is linked to http://images.google.co.in/imgres?imgurl=http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v437/n7055/images/nature04103-f1.2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v437/n7055/fig_tab/nature04103_F1.html&h=508&w=600&sz=63&hl=en&start=1&sig2=A8ctBEnLw-t1zpmy4Yppdw&um=1&tbnid=DNt5ha3tiT9QjM:&tbnh=114&tbnw=135&ei=cDq8R92sKZ7mhQOgqMWQDQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhuman%2B%2Bbrain%2B%2Bevolution%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DG



These all can be accounted to the evolution of the neo cortex in the primates and hence the "larger brain".



Among scientists’ most fascinating subjects of study are a small group of mysterious individuals with astounding talents: the so called savants, or “Knowing Ones”. Savants can multiply 5-digit numbers without a calculator, they can speak a dozen languages, recite 12,000 books from memory or, like Temple Grandin, see the world as an animal does. Over half of the savants are autistic and 6 out of 7 of them are male. Experts all over the world are now asking: How big is this little difference between male and female brains? Are women better human beings? Is the male brain in some way defective? Perhaps gender could be the key to the savant’s capacity for genius.

The study of human sexual behavior and human sex differences has been approached from many vantage points (Davidson & Moore, 2001; McGillicuddy-De Lisi & De Lisi, 2002) and in recent years has been viewed through the lens of evolutionary theory (Buss, 1994; Campbell, 2002; Geary, 1998; Low, 2000; Symons, 1979). However, many psychologists, social scientists, and social critics are reluctant and sometimes vigorously opposed to understanding human behavior in general and human sexuality in particular from an evolutionary perspective (Segerstrale, 2000), or at the very least argue that social influences are predominant (Wood & Eagly, 2002). Our goal is not to address the attendant philosophical or social issues, but rather to provide an introduction to the theory and empirical research generated from the evolutionary perspective. In particular, we focus on women's and men's preferences and Choices of mates and marriage partners, and invite the reader to judge for himself or herself the utility of this approach.

Another TV documentary was about "The science behind sexual attraction". Human sexual attraction is bewildering, exasperating, euphoric and potentially dangerous. It is, like romantic love, an indefinable essence. The beating pulse, the clammy palms, and the flood of chemicals to our brain - are all part of the mysterious alchemy of attraction. But what is 'sexiness' from a scientific point of view and what makes 'sexy' 'sexy'?

We reveal just how manipulative nature can be. Taking 'desire' into the lab we can reveal that when it comes to attraction, we are at the mercy of our biochemistry. And these feelings are so powerful that they should carry a Government health warning.

New research concludes that sexual attraction is a biologically based drive just like hunger or thirst. 'Sexiness', 'desire' ... call it what you will, is distilled from an intoxicating hormonal mix designed to encourage human reproduction...

A chemical cocktail that really does make the world go around.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Jalebi Point

It was October 2nd and She and He had a fight last night on a dumb issue. The fight was for the fact that She loves drinking at times but He doesn't. The fight was so bad that night that they didn't sleep together. He slept on the floor and she left the room at 4 in the fine morning and watched TV like a crazy philander till 9 in the morning and then she came up and banged the door and slept crying on her pillow as she realized the fact that her boy friend doesn't understand her feelings and feel happy with the things which she feels nice about. That night two of his friends had come from far of places.He told them that his girl friend was there and so they rushed to meet the girl who has been staying in their friend's heart. The discussion continued.. The talk was for hours.. the fun days in IIT M campus.. songs , fashion show and great deal of photo suits....continued and continued till 3 that night.

The Sunday morning was a bizzare. Neither He nor She wanted such a unhealthy environ to crop up in front of outsiders.. Nor they did dare to talk to each other till 4 in
the afternoon . The silence broke when He made She eat with him the lunch... Aloo ka paratha, Rice, Dal, Salad and Bhindi fry.

The evening went by and it was time or the friends to leave. he and She had a great evening with Sri and Jeeth and both went to drop the friends on the bus stop.

The waiting for a bus is the worst thing in life(from experience).
Four of then were standing and all of a sudden She noticed this guy... the place was extremely crowded. small kids, youngsters, old folks, teenagers... Two thin lanky guys speeding their hands. It was the hot place with burning wood and people saying "arrey bahi, mujhe jaldi do"... Arrey chotu, jaldi pack kar de"..

All of a sudden, She's eyes got fixed there and as a greedy pig, she kept gazing at the place and to He.He as her better half, well the bitter half at times, knew what She wanted and the telepathy worked. He asked, "Chaheye kya." She nodded.

But He didnt have a single penny in his pocket to buy the golden colored, sweet flavored, sexy wires. He was awesomely feeling to give a hug to her and kiss her in the road. For the fact that she broke her silence and demanded. After a long time span, He could see his heart beating again like it did, when He met She in the platform of Bangalore for the first time. He couldn't resist the fatherly love sprouting inside him nor could he show off his romantic feels in front of the public. desperately, He asked his old frens to give him "Five Bugs"... "F*** just five bugs... why Five? Man take Ten...", saying this Sri searched his wallet and gave He ten bugs to buy the mouth watering, yummy, delicious, hot-hot Jalebis.
















Soon the bus came, Sri and Jeeth hugged He and his queen, waved their hands,got into their bus and the bus passed away.

He crossed the road and came to the junction, the Jalebi Point, which was prior crowded and asked the lanky fellow.." Give me ten rupees ka jalebi". saying so he looked at his queen, who was lost in her world and gave a smile with utter satisfaction.The fellow packed the not- hot instant made orangy, delicious Jalebis and gave it to He.

Holding it in his right hand, he walked besides She,warming up her left hand in the fine fall of the night and disappeared in the dark.

Monday, February 4, 2008

My emotions



Emotions... The name of this painting.. A mind depicted in a canvas, the artist's colors so well merged.

Once I was in that painting. I felt my life in the darker side and slowly light spread into the room,lighting it, and again giving me the full enthu and spirit to stand and fight for myself. The feel can't be expressed in words.I am free now. I am healthy now. I am selfish now. I am bad also, better even. I am happy now. I love what I am now. I am what I am now, what I was before when I left home. I am the same small school going kid... searching for a great company.

Alas... the search came to a finest purified choice and searching for my choice, I lost myself in wine, dine and smokes... But as the light spread inside my room, I got up, stood up and ran for my freedom, for my pleasure,for my satisfaction, for myself.. finally today I am happy and what I do is "just dont regret" as I believe

"Past is past how bad it was, and there is always a chance to get a good future and a better present"

Monday, January 28, 2008

Just a feel to be felt ..!!

No one can go back and make a brand new start.Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.

God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.Disappointments are like road bumps, they slow you down a bit but you enjoy the smooth road afterwards.

Don't stay on the bumps too long. Move on!

When you feel down because you didn't get what you want, just sit tight and be happy, because God has thought of something better to give you.You can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved; the rest is up to the person to realize your worth.

It's better to lose your pride to the one you love, than to lose the one you love because of pride..
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I realized it when i felt it myself...when i met my "Cuppa of Tea".



(The admired lips- My cuppa of tea,thats my CHAI)


There's something rare and special about a person who always makes you feel good without even trying.
There's a lingering warmth in the laughter, that comes so easily that nothing else seems to matter.
The ability to touch people without having to reach out.
A simple understanding of hearts.
There's nothing more refreshing than coming across such a person in your life.
And nothing as appreciated as being able to call them as your friend.....!!!!!

Its true that i have accepted you in my life...but i really wonder how can i ...in such short span of time....hope our friendship lasts for ever...Friendship is like wine, it gets better as it grows older", heard of this famous saying somewhere, but does it stands worthy? Does our relation is based upon a great layout? Of course yes.. It does and so it will ever last...like the diamonds... which I love the most.

But why shouldn't it last?
It will till our last breath...
till our last cry...
till our last laugh....
till our last fight....
till our last love making...
till our last solace ...
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Till I leave you forever
Or till u leave me ...

But it will flourish in the midst of the pains and gains...
Like the drops of the rain...
Till I regain ...

My lost memories.

Was he my Prince Charming...?




Initially I knew you by your name,
But gradually as we came closer
In life and shared it as friends,
It was then that I found you.
I found you in your smiles,
In your opinions about life.
I found you in my times of trial and distress.
I found you in my thoughts, in my dreams and virtually everywhere.
But still I find you more everyday


Urs Irritating sweetie

Current Mood: In remembrance of you and missing your company.

Why did I cry last night?




Why did I cry last night?
What made me cry last night?
Who made me cry last night?
When was that hour of pain feel engrossing me last night?

Wasn't that you....
May not be you..
Or may be you only...
Or is that I deserved...
Is the act u did, I am worthy for...

Or is it like you really felt me as a whore on the roadside
Or a orphan lost in a crowd...
In a moment so far away from you..
As like never ever before...




Can I be so?
Can your "BETA" be that ill mannered?

How could you do that?
U screamed, yelled and finally spitted...
U spitted...

That too on whom .... your own beta...
U meant it .. Isn't so?
but how could u ??

Was that you the person whom I met on 17th May??
Or was that the person who held me every time so carefully??
Or was that an egoistic would be husband??
Or was that an hurt, egoistic boy fren??

Was that you...
Whom I loved...
Whom I still do
Who deserved respect and who ..
Changed my dimensions of life


Was that You?
My cup of tea...
My morning bed tea...
My CHAI...??

(A hurt soul,in a sleepless night)



Current Mood: Extremely fucked up with ur hurting attitude.
I hate my cup of tea now.

Morons...hmmm........!!


( Mr. Moron and his Miss Moron.)

I met "Mr.Moron".Mr. Moron was glad to meet me probably thinking that I was Miss Moron (as always missed out). There was sparkle in his eyes and dreams for sure. That this was a definite hit. But then I had to tell him " Look Mr.,I just cant get along with a MORON." He smiled off and went. He met my friend and again thought-" This must be Miss Moron".

Well why am I writing about a Moron? And is that Moron significant of it? Is he really worthy of it?

How do I know that he is a M? Is it just because I felt so? Is he really that M?
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Well, well.... Well......... now I think he is not.Because he was the only one who spoke whatever he felt even for the fraction of a second. He didn't hide, didn't despise, didn't disguise, didn't pretend..........
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He is still in possession of the capacity that i lost 10 years ago, the capacity to get elated, to be happy, and to smile the heart out. I lost it even though I have become sensible. I lost it because the moron retained the child and I became a real sense " MORON".



Some of the great time Miss Morons caught-










Monday, January 21, 2008

Don't count the years - count the memories!



MOMENTS IN LIFE

“Isn’t it sad that when you have so much pain in your HEART & you want to talk, the only person who can stop you from crying is exactly the same person who made you cry?”

So, the person should first realize that he is the one u mean at any cost. Then only your tear drops can be jigged into happiest and the best the most precious thing in this world.



There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!

When the door of happiness closes, another opens; but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one, which has been opened for us.

Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile, because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.
Find the one that makes your heart smile.


Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.
Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.


This message means a lot to those people who mean something to ME, to those who have touched my life in one way or another; to those who made Me smile when I really needed it; to those who make Me see the brighter side of things when I m really down; to those whose friendship I will always cherish and appreciate; and to those who are so meaningful in your life.
So….Don't count the years - count the memories!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

THE WOMAN


(Radha by Suhas Ray, soft n dry pastel colors 30 X 22")


She is the epitome of love
She is accredited the reasons for success
She is mortal
But the beauty of her sensuality is immortal
She is bound within the worldly tags
But her inner self is not in captivity
She is the free bird in the skies of her dreams
And yet she is the stagnant incarnation of tolerance

***
Man has conquered her many times
He has possessed her innumerably
Still her soul is the monarch since time unending
Illusions fantasizes her, and imaginations treat her
And sometimes she transits into the practical human
Her mysteries are unraveled
Her dreams are rosy
Her wishes are romantic
Her presence is divine and serene
For she is gods dearest creation
***




***
Her charm is unparallel and unchallenged
She is instinctive
She is impulsive
Well she is a paradox .........!!
And a puzzle, what a pity yet what a pleasure
Distinct and different is her existence
She is the radiance of the celestial suns
She is the soothe of the lonely moon
She is the giggle of the rippling cascade
She is the roar of the violent ocean
She is the blaze of the burning fire
She is the calm of the replicating placid lake
The mirror adores her appearance
Men crave her surrenderance
And other women envy her excellence
She has power to create and even devastate
She can withstand but she can even retaliate ..........
Her patience is tested
Her ability is questioned
Her birth has often been mourned and oftener regretted
She is considered a curse and exploited
And now she stands victorious
She rules, rears, replenishes, regenerates
She nurtures, nourishes, necessitates, nestles .........

***
She contradicts herself
She conflicts within her arenas
She wants to be loved passionately
She wants to be respected intensely
She is intimated and sometimes she strives solitude
Her desperations never evade
With ceasing of her existence the creation will crumble
And with her forbearance the fruits will ripen
She is the one who has sustained
She is the one who has cared
Yet she is unwanted ...........
She awaits no more for her plight to change
She has started to fight out her own battle
She will be victorious
She will be the triumphant
For she is gods precious gift to man
She is “THE WOMAN” ............!!

Arya
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