The Critter's Monolougue

~*The Critter's Monolougue*~

"I'm critter with a small head and fast ticking brain, at times abnormal heart-beats. You will always find ME engaged in multitasking, with MY pandora box of strange views and nonsense ideas, those endless jabberings, thousands of penniless thoughts and zillions of unsolved questions…!

That’s my world of weirdness, wildness, confusions, dilemmas, nonconformity and quirks. It’s Good, Bad and Ugly ...

To Live, love, laugh, play, relax, rejoice, celebrate...Explore, discover, question, dare, understand, wonder, reflect...Create, care, conserve, nurture...Share, help, hug, heal, inspire.... These are just some of the ways this small creature feels about life. Do you at times feel the same?"


Powered By Blogger
Powered By Blogger

@ FLICKR, Clicking Away.

www.flickr.com
This is a Flickr badge showing public photos and videos from amtrips. Make your own badge here.

Friday, October 1, 2010

The Riot..!!

I was expected to sleep and may be snoring loud and louder and not letting my partner sleep peacefully. It's obviously not true as I am awake like an owl at night prowling in search of its prey. Huh, thanks to my scary thoughts and anticipations!

I had grown up in a religious Oriya Brahmin family, happily married to a Kannadiga Brahmin. My parents are from the elite mass and so too my in laws and my life partner. I had read the Constitution when I was in school in my Social Studies classes. I am a citizen of a secular country. I think of peace and prosperity and happiness for me and my close ones. After all these, I am still not resting in peace. I am sleepless and troubled at these off-hours of night. But why?
My soul is not peaceful and is damn f***ingly disturbed. Thanks to that fear which came in and stayed peacefully inside me since I was a kid.

I remember very crudely what happened in 1992, that fine morning of Dec, the 6th. I was in school and as 'B section' class-monitor, I was out of my class, my steps were towards the common staff room and holding nearly 47 English notebooks and quietly following the English teacher. Suddenly principal calls for an urgent meeting and declares school for a Sine die within an hour. I asked Laxman bhaiya (a peon in my school) what the matter is. He told school is gonna be closed since riots have broke all over the country. I was calm and cold and somewhere happy from inside as school will be on holidays and we would be getting an extended winter vacation. For a class rank holder, it’s a big thing to know such news in advance so that you can play your game safely against your academic rivals at the school. But for how long and why? My tiny brain would have never realized the sensitivity of that statement and what it meant. ‘A riot....’!

I was happy and back to my class and started bossing around on my class-fellows. But had I been a grown -up, I would have got the hint. A few seniors, house leaders, and school captains were seen rushing to principal's chamber. I was wondering why? To my utter surprise, within a span of 20 minutes or so, I remember our class teacher appeared in hurry, entered the class. She was not shocked with the chaos in the class. She was steady and calm and called me and the second lead to me, ordered us to keep silence in no-time as she had some urgent announcements. We tried to make the dirty little scoundrels be quiet, as Bilkis ma'am said-" Classes are suspended and all should pack up for home immediately". I remember very clearly, the next door 'A section' teacher, Hussain ma'am rushing into our room and saying all of us-" Dear children, it’s a serious issue. Riots have broken in country and so school is gonna close for an indefinite period. We have informed your parents and home to pick you up as soon as possible. Since it’s not safe, we request all those who are cyclers to leave school immediately and reach home safely...” Soon in no time, the headmaster of Kendriya Vidyalaya arrived into our room, when we were still in the trauma of this Sine Die news and he gave a small insight to the reason behind why the school is closing. In his words-" Dear children, Babri Masjid is being demolished by BJP and Hindus and so there is now communal disturbances and riots have broke all over the country. So, I am being ordered by AC and higher authorities from BBSR to close the school now and look into the fact that all students reach their home safely.We will inform you when the school is re-opening."


God Damn... I asked a friend what's going to happen. How will we reach home safely, since my mom and dad would be in college...? And what about our rickshaw-puller uncle. Meanwhile I saw to damn surprise, the school compound was guarded by policemen and 5 police at the gate. Parents crowded to take back their kids; some sensible and caring rickshaw-wallas calling for the kids whom they have been bringing to school and dropping back home ritually. I and a friend of mine still stuck with the idea of what to do if our respective dads don’t turn up.

Seeing raged mobs, agitated people in small crowds, rumours spreading like some epidemic, I was getting panicky. It was almost 2 hours. A very few students were left in the school. All the while my brain was thinking what if the agitated mob enter the school, try to abduct us, try to kill us, try to break our school and thousands of such activities kept traveling in my neurons. Seeing someone's father wounded on road by hooligans, while he was in rush to pick his kid, I was even more scared. What if my dad is killed? Shit...! I was so panicky...

While I was still in my thought process, I heard someone screaming-"papa...papa... baba is here... papa...papa..!!" Dad, oh yeas that’s my dad. He was there near the school entrance with some colleague of his with his car and seeing dad, I was so relieved. I ran and hugged him and following me was my friend. We both were made to calm down and not panic and then we were driven back to home. Thanks to that friend of dad, who didn’t care to put his life and car, of course in danger for me and my friend? While we were on the way to home through the many galis of Cuttack roads, avoiding the agitated crowds, the Hindus in small groups, the Musalmaans in and around mosques in troops, all armed of course, I noticed burning vehicles and shops closed. Some grocery shops were crowded. People were buying stuff to hoard those so that they can sustain during the anticipated dark days.

Chaos was clouding over the city. Rumours were becoming sporadic and news like 4 people killed, 3 burnt to death, 2 buses burnt, shops are broken and looted, and this basti with 11 Muslims dragged to death, Muslim kids ruthlessly murdered...!! Balasore is on curfew. Agendas getting passed... Cabinet meetings... Emergency services alert 24/7... The loud sirens of police and ambulance, cities in high alerts, many on curfews and this trauma continued for a few days... People with talwaars and other sharp, deadly weapons were seen in nearby houses, on roof-terraces. A big lock was put on our apartment's entrance for safety of all those who were residing in side. The thought that we were residing in a Hindu dominated area was our sole weapon and in fact entire safety key. That feel of “we” was so strong that time and in 2002 again and still today. Such big time communal violence- Homicides, suicides to save honour, raping women and small girls and ruthless killings, mobs, fire set to hundreds of homes, lifeless bodies of those who were not a part of Babri Masjid demolition. Shame on “us” for being spineless at that point of time and as and when such barbarism took over humanity and secularism...Aaah, bring a full stop to this masaccare.

I was not aware of the entire story till a few days back when I was narrated the fast track story by my favourite story-teller, Fifi. I was sacred on 21st Sept with the Ayodhya Verdict, not able to concentrate at office on my scheduled works after Shiv and Bhaskar had a discussion over the Veridct (that time it was dated for 24th Sept). I don’t want another riot which I glimpsed during my childhood nor the one like Gujrat riot of 2002 when I was still not mature enough to understand the cause and reasons. Hindus killing Muslims, Muslims raping hindus, morality lost, fires set, children orphaned to roads and streets of India...For god sake, stop this genocide. Hindus are also Homo sapiens and so are Muslims...! Can't we think above religion? Can we ever grow up, behave sanely? Why Mr. Modi ordered for entire Gujrat to be made a Muslim-free zone as if they are pests? Why police supported him? Who started it? What was the cause? Who set fire on the train on track? Why Godhra riot took a red colour? So, many questions without answers and to add to it are my fear, which has stayed inside me and has grown up with me since 1992. I have realised I have been infested with this “RIOT-o-phobia”.
Fifi tries to comfort me, assures me that we are safe and explains that mass psyche is much stronger than an individual’s. The slightest ignition gives it the shape of huge burning cauldron of dead bodies. Fifi also says it’s easy to divide and rule. Britishers did follow it and so do today’s politicians. ‘I’, as individual is strong enough to protest but I amongst many “I’s” gets converted to “We”. The whole world can be then divided easily under just 2 words- "We" and "They". “We”and “they” are much stronger than "I" and "You". Once "we" are against "they/them", it always takes the shape of bloodshed and violence and culling of "those" thousand innocents. Wiping off “they and their” becomes the main motto. The mass psychology is so scary then.
The fear of chaos has taken over me so much that I am not in peace from past 7 days. I don’t sleep; anticipations bother me- what if riot happens? What if the train is attacked while I am on my way to home (after 3 years), what if they ask us religion? Fuck off you son of those bitches...! Why can’t your moms make you learn that religion is nothing its just a faith and feeling. Humanity is much bigger than just any religion. Mankind is superior to that Ram or Rahim, Allah or Bhagwan... Mandir or Masjid, Kailash or Kabba..!

Even if the Ayodhya Verdict is out yesterday, but do you think I am fine? Of course a big “NO” is the answer. What if a riot happens after 7 days from today? What if I am in train and Muslims set it on fire? What if tomorrow while driving back to home from office; I am stuck in road by miscreants on the name of religion? What if Fifi is gone to ShivajiNagar and is victimised by a riot? Let me just blame it on that word-"The riot".These F***ing riots have traumatized me, made deep scars on my innocence, raped my intellectual thoughts and still continue to haunt and trouble me. I am 27 and independent but still I am nothing. I am a scared Indian..!

I have never visualized till day that the name RIOT will create such a storm of fear and pain inside me even if I had not been its victim. Watching movies like 1947 Earth, Bombay, Firaaq, Mr. And Mrs. Iyer, Parzania have made me feel what one goes through if he/she gets victimized. I am just scared what if I have to face it one day. I don’t want to lose anything that I own and possess- my name, my family, my social status, my belongings, my dreams and my life. Its 3:40 AM of 1st Oct'10. Currently, I may be safe- surfing the internet, trying to focus on my farm at Farmville,sitting in front of the magic gadget (laptop) in my home with the 9th cup of tea (in the day), though not very peaceful but fingers are crossed..!

I was just too small to understand all of it before fear made its home inside me- Thanks to riots of 1992-93, 2002..! Now I get scared with its name, the way it’s spelled, with the hearing of that word, with its sight in any newspaper and with its anticipation -“The Riot”!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Birthday Wishes for Someone Special..!


The person is one in hundreds and thousands.

I have been knowing Dr. Pankaj K. Sahani since January 2007 and I remember how our bonding has grown up..!!

That time he was just Mister, and now he is a Doctor (don't confuse with a medicine-wala, he is a Graduate from WII. I found Pankaj ji,(well Pankaj Bhai is what I love calling him) in one of those many crazy social networking sites and soon Pankaj Bhai got transformed from a stranger to a "just-chat-friend" (we had lots of arguments and those countless fights without any noble cause..huh, we both are for sure big nuts), then a good friend and slowly a very close friend, and now a fatherly image, a brother in far-off land, a great philosopher, a big-time stress buster and not just this much one of my secret-confiders.

He is a gem of persons, with equal number of vices as that of virtues, with a heart of sweet candy, a whacky touch to all worries,a brevity with brain, a hunk with lesser punks and junks, a typical angry young man, hard like a Cocus nucifera shell from outside but softer and whiter inside with a real knack for many common things, that we share- music, camera, photography, nature, birds, trees, flowers, orchids and not the least the endless jabberings.

I cherish this pen-friend of mine. He is just more than a friend. God bless him with all happiness and good things of world.

These lines of Thomas Hood I would love to dedicate for Only and Only Our dear Pankaj Bhai-

"I remember, I remember
The roses, red and white,
The violets, and the lily-cups,
Those flowers made of light!
The lilacs, where the robin built,
And where my brother set
The laburmum on his birthday,-
The tree is living yet."


~Loving
Amri

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Veruca salt....

Veruca Salt... Veruca Salt..
What's her fault..what's her fault..
She was a hollow nut..
So,Wonka's squirrels kicked her butt..
Down she went...
through the dark bent...
Into the chute..
Of course not made of Jute..!!

Veruca Salt...Veruca Salt..
Being too greedy is your fault..
MUM and DAD..
Are now sad...
With her fat tummy,
Screamed Veruca's mummy...
But all in vain..
As she was going to get the pain..
Just a push...
And there she goes...
Without any rush..
Into the chute...
sliding with her enormous butt...!

Daddy has no option but just to follow
Into the dark hollow...
No pillow...
No willow...

Miss Salt is a spoiled brat
Oh yea..She will soon smell like a rat..
Chased by some stray cat..
Without any classy hat..!!

Dark and dark...
Without a spark...
Down they go..
While Oompa-loompahs make ha..ha..he..he..ho..ho..!!
And there stay the three Salts...
It's there wonka factory's halt...!

~ Amtrips

(inspired from the bedtime-readings of Roald Dahl's Charlie and Chocolate Factory)

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

And My Experiments with Camera Still Continues..!

"In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary. "
~Aaron Rose


And my experiments with my camera still continues...!!
The title to this abstract shot may sound weird.. Can't help it.

Though I hardly get time from my daily household cores and job and thus the roller-coaster schedule of a typical day in a metro-life, I somehow managed to play with my old pal " My camera" . I had been to somewhere for shopping just to take out my frustration and had purchased this hanging lamp sometime back in Dec,2008. But I will still address it as " My new Lamp shade" for it got the chance to light my house just a few days back). This new member in my house has become my latest fashion and mania and I just can't stop gazing at it and playing with its switch and plug.. It forced me to open my wardrobe, take out my shutter-machine and make those lovely sounds- Click.. Click... One more Click... And one more and one more...!!

I have realized one thing, my passion for photography has not died.. just that it has stopped growing for the time being... It needs light, fresh air and water to grow once again..

My passion with getting a DSLR Cam still lives within me...

Current Mood: Feeling Good.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Ms. Ganguli Baaii....!


Ganguli Baaii went up the hill
To collect the rare orchid
Seeing her enormous travel bill
Fifi was in desperate need...
Of a massive shock-proof
As he knew GB was going to jump from the roof..!!

Ganguli Baaii went to the circus
And there she made a fuss
Seeing the lion dance,
Her feet didn't miss the golden chance..

While she shook her booty
Guys in the crowd enjoyed the tutti-fruity..!!
I like to move it.. move it...
She likes to move it ..move it...
The song was on..
Lions danced, and so did Ganguli-Baaii
But alas

And she fell down on the floor
Like an Elephis on roll..
Hit a huge pole
And that made scary hole
On the circus floor
~GB

(pic from internet)

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

A matter of the dark night.


As I lit the cigar,
I knew I'm going to fag.

This fag is gonna drag -
My steps....


Close to myself,
Close to my loneliness.
Far from the fake world,
Far from my cup of tea "Chai."
Near to you
And just few steps
Just few more steps..!!

As this cigar dies out,
The woman inside me cries out,
Ah! alas!! See the darkness of failure
See the face of the loser..
Standing in front of the mirror

I have realized..!!
I am speaking to the moving fag...

It laughs at me....

Ha..ha.....ha..ha...
It echos in the dark

Whispering in my ears
"You are a loser...!!
And you must die."
So, I lit another death light
,
Its a matter of the dark night.

-Amtrips
26th Jan'10
0229 hours GMT
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

VOTE FOR OUR EARTH.....

Vote Now Vote Green I'm going green you coming