The Critter's Monolougue

~*The Critter's Monolougue*~

"I'm critter with a small head and fast ticking brain, at times abnormal heart-beats. You will always find ME engaged in multitasking, with MY pandora box of strange views and nonsense ideas, those endless jabberings, thousands of penniless thoughts and zillions of unsolved questions…!

That’s my world of weirdness, wildness, confusions, dilemmas, nonconformity and quirks. It’s Good, Bad and Ugly ...

To Live, love, laugh, play, relax, rejoice, celebrate...Explore, discover, question, dare, understand, wonder, reflect...Create, care, conserve, nurture...Share, help, hug, heal, inspire.... These are just some of the ways this small creature feels about life. Do you at times feel the same?"


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Monday, March 31, 2008

April Fool..!!



I can't believe tomorrow is April 1st! Crazy. It's a bleary day today here. Lots of strong wind blow and rain yesterday.I am sure tonight also it will.
Yesterday was a nice day till the midday but soon wasnt the same scenario.
So the highlight of our week end was last night. We didnt talk at all. The calmness still resonates in the ear. I am confused and he is worried. a strange kind of gloominess has set into the room. It clean, sweet small and compact, infact very cosy also but still a kind of lonelisome ambience persists...

Of latelt he came close to me and said" Beta , am worried for u." It was a very humbling experience. It is such a blessing to have a worthy caring person in your home. With that I said, I think I will sign out now...I literally have chills thinking about it. Have a nice day and for sure a "great fool's day"

Saturday, March 29, 2008

"Far off Lies the Shore"...



Memoirs of Those Old Days..

Part I:

I stood in the beach road and looked up to the shore.. It almost touched the horizon and the horizon seemed not very far.I felt i could reach it. Walked and walked and walked till i got tired and was completely broken. But still the ray of hope was lit inside the small rooms of my heart that he will be back some day.. like the ship stuck in a tempest, far away from the mainland, in the midst of the wild roars of the sea, ready to swallow anything and infact everything it can.

Once He wrote me:

"I am really sorry that I spoilt your mood. I never wanted to hurt you.
I have come to realise that everytime things become worse. I am sorry that you feel that I am being unfairly harsh to you. As far as I can see, there is something fundamentally incompatible. You keep saying that whenever I speak I hurt you. I don't want to do that, so I think it is best for you that I don't talk to you. I'm sure you realise too that we are two very diffrent people. Since we can't see eye to eye, since you feel that I am unecessarily harsh I feel I should stop takling to you because that is the only solution. I want you to know that I wish you all the best in life, and also to realise that we are too different."

Urs .....


Part II

I should have got the hint that day itself that that sea was never mine and sailing in it can be dangerous and a misled idea in nutshell. But I did dare. May be am courageous, may be am stupid. I never knew about my emotions and i sailed and sailed till my life's ship got stucck in the tempest of your sea.

My thirst will never end as that of a man away from his home, from his mainland and here I was a outsider like the traveller lost in the search of the oasis in the midst of desert and the desire to get a drop of water to drink was the only instinct that kept him alive.

And then it was in the month of May, finally, when he said me once and for all:

"Calling myself an escapist is my excuse. The truth is that I will perhaps never ever see again. Which is why I made a great effort to see you, even for a short while, at the train station. The reasons for this are personal. I have not told them to u and will not reveal them ever till i live the end. I did what I thought was the best way to get u to hate me and eventually forget me. I wanted to cut off completely before u got involved any more emotionally. I know this would hurt her but it would be even more painful later on. I told her that if she has even a little trust on me she should believe what I am doing is better for her in the long term, however much it hurts now. I will not ask that of you. You are free to think
whatever you want. I believe I have made a mistake, that I should have been frank to you from the beginning, explaining that whats there is hidden in your mind can be never possible. However, it is much easier to look back and see what you
should have done right, rather than while you are doing it. I am afraid there is very little that I can do. It is upto you convince urself that it is just an infatuation, because in the midst of an unknown and foreign desert, you have found some small comfort in the oasis of my friendship, to heal the wounds that you have suffered because of me."

Mr. X
(Your well wisher)


Just one mail and life was shattered like the tempest stuck ship inside the sea, where u get water... but can never drink a drop.

But of lately I realise after a year and half, life isn't bad> it shows the way itself. One just needs to hold the patience like the men on the ship hold their depth of patience deep inside them. I realised many more feels that i have infact not lost anything valuable. What was not mine, i never get it and the pay off is equal every time. For the fact that " No pains, no gains" and what I hav gained now is worthless and the most precious gift... like the back of the ship into home land."

I am back to home, and my own home where am the queen of the whole world round me and get all the love and affection which i deserved forever.Ek ehsaas thats dead long time back, but yet alive somewhere..


I am slowly forgetting Mr. X for sure then and forgiving him ofcourse.

Current Mood: No regrets, just few remeberances (untold and unspoken)

Friday, March 28, 2008

Love Blossoms....!



A Dedication to Love thats all round in all forms...!!

Don't tell me of love everlasting and other sad dreams
I don't want to hear
Just tell me of passionate strangers who rescue each other
From a lifetime of cares
Because if love means forever, expecting nothing returned
Then I hope I'll be given another whole lifetime to learn

Because you gave to me oh so many things it makes me wonder
How they could belong to me
And I gave you only my dark eyes that melted your soul down
To a place where it longs to be........

Joan Baez penned these lyrics in the 1972 "Love Song to a Stranger".

It has been a great time since i read these lines and never belived on the fact that love does exist. It was when I was in school, may be class 8th, when encountered these precious lines of Joan and felt them damn shitty that time but as I grew old and older and more, i realised there must be something like emotion and love must be a part of it. Infact "Love" forms the sole attire of all emotions , whether its the feel of passion or say hatred... betrayal or possessiveness.. All are the shades of love.


No doubt the lyrics sounded me exciting and poetic like Alferd Noyes" The Highway Man". They sounded beautiful like a metamorphozed tiny stream gussing over and out from inside the rocks, like the chripping of bulbuls, like the ice covered Himalayas, like the banks desperate to get the touch of the river-water, like the air buzzing a lonesome traveller.And for sure it had to became my all time favorite. And now when I can fully fathom the meaning of the song.

I think of all I had left behind and all that I had gained through the years- Pain, hurt, suffering, lonliness, respite, depression, happiness, tears, excitement, butterflies in stomach... and more many more feels ...

Life been kinda adventorous and just giving way to chance meetings with strangers, blossoming love and a sense of liberation.

And what He once said me :
(a old chapter from the life's unravelling moments)

"Love can't be a decision. Its a feeling. If we could decide whom we loved, it would have been simpler, but far less magical..!!"

Thursday, March 27, 2008

We share the same Womb !!

We share the same womb...
We share the same food..
We drinkt he same milk that the cook gives in the vessel..
We share the same feel of being together.



We play together in the afternoon..
We are loved by thy men in the same manner..
We compete with each other..
We learn from each other...
We shared the same womb!!



We fight with each other like as if we are great enemies..
We help each other in distress..
We sleep together..
We lick each other...
We feel the same feel of being together..
As we are siblings !!



But one day will come when we wont be together..
We will leave this place and go far away...
Lost in our world..
Lost in the madness of crowd..
Lost in the feel of desire..
Lost in race of competition..
Lost in battle of life..




Howsoever ....
We will always have the same feel of togetherness,
As we shared the same womb once upon a time.
Thats the truth and the truth..
We share the same womb !!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The story of a Spider




I built the house with great effort,
Collected the cobwebs and netted them effectively..
I loved his arrival...
As I loved him so much..

I am happy, dancing in joy..
Can’t you see I’m excited?
He came into my palace..
He lived with me and shared my place,

Just for the fact that...
I needed his genes..
He gave me the genes and made me satisfied..
He gave me a new world ..
My pride of being a female

In lieu what I did..
I entrapped him, Strangulated him..
Injected my poison into his brain
And finally ...
I swallowed him, As my Prey!!

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Like Pearls.



Pearls are precious... and so are these...
The dew drops....

I spotted this beauty of nature on my trail in the rain forests of Talacauvery , on a spider cobweb ... a great one .... and felt like its wearing a huge a necklace beaded with pearls..

The nature's beauty is varied and no doubt astonishing....

One of my all time favorite shots..

Current Mood: Satisfied and Agile

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

The Take Off.



Everyone wants to feel nice n better, to fly high up in the sky of dreams like this jacana..

The flight does matter then as u expect a reward worthy as per the "take off"...

The gloominess of life vanishes and the light spreads,
the feel of the fresh air, the soft baby-handed rays of the rising sun...

this bronze-winged Jacana took off for it morning daily schedule.

current Mood: Inspired

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Spring time




Spring time...
When the winter recedes back...
The summer waiting to approach..
Cosy sunrays makes the mind feel fresh..
Allowing the birds to chirp the whole day...
Trees adorned with buds and flowers...
Of varied color..

When u feel like falling in love with it.

Thats the nature's beauty manifested..

Thats spring time..!!

Saturday, March 15, 2008

LOVE...



Love is like the seeds of life,
To root is full of pain and strife.
But to grow it's like a great Oak tree,
Straight and strong for eternity.
Love is what I offer you,
Steadfast, calm and oh, so true!
Love is life between two who shares,
A life between two who really cares.
Love is ours, if you agree,
To spend your life with me!


Jean Edwards


(Request:Due Applause from Pragyan n Hemant, couldn't get better photo for this write up other than ur Engagement shots. Hope u both wont mind will appreciate :))

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The Road-side gift




Once they both were feeling gloomy. It was a Sunday afternoon.
So He asked She if she wants to go for a shopping.
Seems He has got lots of pennies with him this time, She thought and gave a freaky smile and nodded her head.

Soon they got up from he bed, winded up their romance, got dressed nicely, of course neatly. He put on his denim jeans and a white Tee shirt and she wore a gracy ashy chiffon kurta, well embroidered with silver threads and a white pajama.She put kalool in her hazel nutted eyes and then mascara on the thick eyelashes. A bit of lip gloss on the strawberry lips and now she was ready with her "typical shopping bag" and those Inblu slippers on her soft feet.

Seeing this, he realised one more thing in his life... "Girls are so much into their attire... so much into make up.. Hell on Companies like Revlon, Lakhme, bla bla... for making the cosmetics"
The first thing he realised in his whole life was girls love shopping, after meeting his She.

I doubt if ever before they went for shopping the first time, He had realised this truth. Anyways back to the story.

While She was busy inside her closet's door, he was watching her very keenly.

She was searching something in her silver foiled, well carved box, then in her leather pouch with floral prints.. and then in the hand made box from Aurobindo ashram .. and then in the drawer of the study table... finally she left the search half way and turned back ... She said-: Jaaaaanu, lets go, I cant find them anyways.. so why to bother so much and watse the time...!!"

He was pretty shocked, with excitement.

And they left their room, locked it and walked down the stairs, then through the gate and finally through the lane.. then to the main road and boarded a bus that goes to Shivaji Nagar.

The bus was crowded and both had to hanged themselves like bags from the roof.. She was a bit annoyed as she hates crowd and especially the crowded town buses. But her poor fate, she loves that guy who loves to hang himself in the bus like a bag...

They reached the bus stop and both jumped out and walked towards the wide road to go to Brigade Road.

They walked and walked by, passed by many people, of different ages, different religions, different feels and different motives. But one thing was common- "All loved to freak out in the Sunday Evening."

They walked and and finally reached the place where the shopping junction starts... M G Road intersecting Brigade Road. And standing there, He decided to go into Brigade Road. They proceeded...

She said-"Can I buy this?"
She went on jabbering in front of all the shops which she loves for window shopping. In front a great shop she stood and watched and suddenly spelled out.. "Thats a lovely teddy Poppy.. buy me on my birthday."

He stopped by a juncture.. not to forget Our "He" is finky with eating outside... they have fights very often on the menu in hotels, restruants.. and other eating places in the town... thats a perennial problem with this couple..

The evening was falling and the night was approaching..She purchased some junk things according to He. She got a kashmiri stol for her and then some nice Cds to listen. Also a big card to gift to He on his coming birthday which he wasn't aware of. He purchased a pair of sandals for him and then a big box of chocolates.. Vochelle Hazelnut( a common favorite). She purchased a flavored cigar for her. At times she is finky with few things esp. drinks and cigars. Dont make a mess of that. She has a differnet feel for these things. But He has great resent for these particulars esp social drinking, boozing, fagging.

May be one day He realise That She knows the limits and accept the fact that She is a well sounded girl with heights of .............


Well He wasnt very happy when she purchased that Vanilla flavored cigar of 60 bugs. But he could do nothing as he knew she will defend herself and they will finally land up in a messy fight on the road and he just didnt want nor intend it.

They walked and walked in the midst of the Sunday crowd in a metro in Bangalore.

Slowly the ill feel vanished and he was walking close to his soul mate trying to hold her tiny fingers and caress them. May be he loves her that much and she deserves all that. May be He realises her feeling better than her. Who knows...

And then they stopped.. in front of a footpath shop... lots of gittering things ... ladies hovering road it like flies in a fish market, like bees on flowers...

Yea He realised one thing... He went and searched in the crowdy mess.... and stopped for a while... turned back and and smiled and said-" Janu this is for u.. the gift of today's shopping."

A dangling ear-ring for his sweet heart, not less than 70 bugs... She was extremely happy and jumped.. As I say, "Women are always unexpected, but men are even more unexpected."

She never thought in her dreams that her boy-fren will gift her some thing which she was searching for a long time in the afternoon to go with her get up. A matching hanging ear ring pair for her gracy ashy chiffon kurta, well embroidered with silver threads....

She was over-whelmed and hugged him and gave a sweet peck on his cheek showing her ear to put them in their well deserved place than keeping in the envelope, inside her "mini-world" bag.

He carefully put those well deserving rings into the holes and said..." I love u more than what I u mean to me .."

She gave a sheepish smile and giggled saying all what she means in two words-" I too."

And they walked, side by side, holding each other's hand...in the crowded pavement, amongst hundreds of passers by....

And soon vanished in the midst of the Sunday crowd.


"Love conquers all things; let us yield to love."
- Virgil
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