Secret Desire part 1

The dilemma in my life still pervaids.. once it was D, now its past...! Once its was getting married to Chai, now its how to maintain the relation. I am sick and tired of convincing and getting convinced. Once it used to be my studies and just studies...!! huh I wonder, why the hell i ever grew up. I hate adulthood; associated with menstrual cycles every month, the battle of earning livelihood, the scary feel of losing yourself in battle of life, the cramps of a past which still haunt at dark nights when i sleep alone in my bed as if someone is hitting me with a sharp Dagger, the pain of losing my own home, the agony of being a hopeless, the apathy of maintaining the fake relations which hurts me a lot and where i feel so insignificant... the trauma of being a loser and failure and making all my folks ashamed of me...!!

I wasn't this... Where am I? Where is my inner self? Where is my will power lost that i used to fight all odds? Who m I now? Mr.X's daughter... Mr. Y's ex-lover or Mr Z's wife...!! huh Mr. zero's daughter-in-law...!! I am sick and tired.. I am broken .. I feel deserted and vulnerable....!! I am scared that I have to kill myself a day...!!

And leave him behind with no gains in life and zillions of pain..!!

I have become a "poison ivy" for him...!! And it resonates in my lonesome gloomy room-"you have to die... and die and just die...!! "
haaaa...ha......(a pain inside, eyes watery and throat stuck with no words)

"Kill me' oh my Brutus...!!!"

Happy Children's Day??

"All children are artists. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
~Pablo Picasso

It Continues from my blog Fotographia when I posted saying Happy Children Day. Huh... Is it so in real?

Whenever we think of children, the first thing that comes to our mind is innocence and naivety. A child is the purest form of a human being as he is not yet molded by the harsh realities of life.It was 14th November 1889, when Jawaharlal Nehru(Chachaji, pet name for the country men) was born . As a tribute to Nehru and his love for children, Children’s Day is celebrated on his birth date.This day reminds to each and every one of us, to renew our commitment to the welfare of children and teach them to live by their Chacha Nehru’s quality and dream. on his Day, we celebrate the day of life, innocence and naivety...!!

Oh yes we all celebrated Children's day till we were in school, then why can't we do the same now..!!But do we really do it? I haven't since many years, I guess 10 years by now. I have lost my childhood somewhere in the midst of higher studies, in the fight of being the topper in all battles, in the butter churn of the social dramas...
Adopt a orphan kid, give a home to a abandoned, spend time with kids, give a pencil to each to learn to write and dedicate a part of your life to make them educated, civilized and socialized... Stop child abuse and child pornography, well a few of the noble step each one of us can work towards. A little effort from me and you can make a great difference. Why can't it be possible to broaden ourselves our heart and thoughts, to take a step ahead to make our society a better one...!!

Current Mood: Thoughtful

Wine and Dine , As you are Mine...!!

“The Door-bell rang …
Tring tring..!!

From inside..
A voice was heard
Who is that?

It’s me darling..
Isn’t that tonight
We are gonna be dining…!!

Oh yes..!!
Opened the door
With a dash..!!

Welcome my boney-sweetheart
I have made yummy tart…!!
Just for you..
With a little honey dew

And a glass of wine..
We are going to dine..
My future is gonna shine
With the time
Like a Dime!

The wall clock rang

Half past nine

Seeing you I'm gay and I sang
You are always mine,

You are mine..!!”

© ~ Amtrips

I 've nothing underneath..!!

The eroticism of life or death says there is nothing underneath. How do one agree to that? may be when you die, u get to know the truth, may be then u realise life is of no worth ....

"Day and Night,
In and Out,

I keep shrinking

Ans just thinking...

Why and why...

As time passes by...

Oh I know,

I am gonna die..!!"

-amrita

'the eroticism of death-I've nothing underneath!'

( Pic from toonpool.com)

All was in vain

Like a rolling stone,
that gathers no moss
I heard the tone..
gone with a toss!!
The tune rang in my ears
For past many years..
I meant it,I need it
I want it..!!
Aah..said my brain
I was drenched in the rain..!!

Under the fig tree
I stood free..
Open like a book,
Depicted and anticipated..
With all my broken hooks..
I try and try
And finally I cry.
Crying in pain
But all was in vain..!!
-amrita

-A moron's dilemma

(written and sketched by `Amtrips`)

I am a Woman.. !

To All the feminine gender over the world:I wish a Happy Women's Day....

I said myself-"LOVE and RESPECT yourself FIRST." and so I say all now...!! I am one amongst you and nothing different I have in me as you too have. I am a woman.. A independent, pretty, daring, caring and sharing woman. I am the She of that He and the Woman of that Man."

From She comes "he" and so from a Woman rises out- "the Man."
An epitome of love, care, pain, emotions, a blend of naughtiness, happiness and romance, a feel of life and love... She is THE WOMAN.

Beauty? Let me tell you something - being thought of as 'a beautiful woman' has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble. Love has been difficult. Beauty is essentially meaningless and it is always transitory.It is the loving, not the loved, woman who feels loveable.A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children.
Any piece of clothing can be sexy with a quietly passionate woman inside it.Honesty is probably the sexiest thing a man can give to a woman. I am a woman and of lately I have learnt to survive and live myself.
I have realised a Man is nothing without a woman and so goes the saying.."Behind Every successful Man, there is a Woman."
Dedicated to all the mothers, sisters, wives, daughters .... For a better life, a healthy one and a safe for sure.. Wishing all again a Happy Women's Day.

(Celebrating the Month of LOVE)
There I saw you,
Here I felt you,
Now that I know you..

I want you
I have you.
I feel you
I need you........

Color my life..
With all those hue,
Which are mine
And of course
YOURS...!!

There I saw you,
Here I felt you,
Now that I know you..

- Haiku Times
by
Amrita Tripathy

We are the Orioles..!!

We are the ORIOLES...
We don't live in the poles,
You spot us in woody countries...
Which have lot many trees.

*****

A bright golden yellow bodied bird
With black color in wings and tail,
A conspicuous black streak through the eye.
I am the male with a great show off
More brighter and yellower
Like the Turmeric....

*****

My counterpart is duller and greener.
As she is the female.
Nature created me that way,
so that you crazy men can watch me
Nature made me so
For a better pay off.

*****

Arboreal is our lifestyle
Food is insects,fruits and berries
So you can stop by a banyan,peepal or fig tree
Any berry tree either..
But thats should be with yummy fruits.
And as you move your eyes ..
There you spot me, my partner..
Spring is my favorite time,
And so the most probability
To spot me.
*****

You spot us in woody countries...
Which have lot many trees,
We are the ORIOLES...
We don't live in the poles!!


-Amrita Tripathy

Happy Basking Times

I asked it... Why are you lazily hanging on our garden wall.. And Mr. Agama recited out to me .....

"I love the warmth of the Winter Sun,
As much as I hate it in the Summery days…
Why is that so, I don’t know
I amuse myself, now and then..

As I love to bask myself, I am warming up
There is the pleasant feel, I am relishing.
As my body is kicking up…
To take the jump!!

There you see me…
In the garden, on the verandah
In the field, on the roof top.
In the courtyard, on the wall
In the parchment, on the pavement…
But every time you see me..
I am under the sun,
Now and then….
I love to bask

I am lazy and a bit sleepy, of course then sluggish..
And so is the weather…
The sun is going to make me agile
In a while….
And so I am here to bask
And then get back to my daily task."

- Amrita Tripathy

Wishing you a great, grand birthday.

Someone once said- The principle is competing against yourself. It’s about self-improvement, about being better than you were the day before. Thats what I have read and I have realised as I am growing old with time. Today is 22nd Jan 2009 and I am 25 years old. I have spent so much of my life infact 1/3rd like that... I have now my own nest and I am a grown up bird. I can fly.

I wish myself a fantabulous birthday bash... happy birthday Dear ME...as I am my favorite and also your's all.

Moron's Wishes on her D day....

Current Mood: Happy but a bit sad from inside... I am getting older.

hApPy BeLls...

I realise the myth associated with the rituals of hinduism isnt fake nor is a layman's cup of tea. I am not very religious but i have faith on them and admire some festivities. Temples in india are awesome place of rich culture, blind faith, great architecture, years-old myth(story), several workers efforts and great indian heritage... not the least the age old hinduism rules. I always wondered on many things when I had been to a temple and one is this hanging bell @ the entrance of the dwara of any temple. Is god really asleep and we need to awake him/ her. Is it for our conscience to make us awake from our hushy fussy world that we are in the almighty's home ... or is it like we make others know we are inside a temple... or simply its a custom or just a myth that ringing the bell will make god listen to us and not our other fellow mates in the courtyard of a temple...
I am confused with my questions and dont know if i will get the answer. But as i child I always loved to ring the bell, put so high. My daddy used to lift me in his arms and put my small hands to reach the bell, thats tied up high.... I used to get great enthu and fun by just dashing the bell and the sound kept resonating in my ears for hours till am back home from temple. Always on my birthday, I had been to temple with Ma and Baba and I felt so sirine and pious from inside. May be that rejuvenates the soul and makes you feel good about yourself. May be I am a brahmin and still somewhere by hindu culture remains... I still live in my past and rejoice those memoirs of childhood. Day after tomorrow is my birthday as per the hindu calendar and I am sure my mom will visit temple, the old one( Cuttack Chandi) to pay Mata a worship for my being healthy, wealthy and fit and for sure her paryers do work out.

She is a typical mother who prays for her sick daughter now and then to the lord to give her courage to face the world and I will prove her faith on me again.

I am sad today though I hav my own nest. I have realised I cant stay away from my flock but still I am struggling to stand on my legs and be independenent. Independence means socio-economic and also mentally... I want to be free and so I would prefer to join ashram in few years.. I love myself, for whatever I am, for who I am, for what I have done and for why I am alive though at times I am depressed and purish and left deserted and alone... My loneliness never haunted me .. But at times, he did, you did, they did and all of them did. Still I will fly and touch the horizon, I will face the tyrant exploiting world. I will still continue to love myself.

I have finally realised..........

"I will survive, No matter what you do.
Just give me time, I will get over it."

-A Moron's Dilemma

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