Insta Musings~ Part 1

After a long hiatus, I have decided to revive my blog pages. That doesn't mean I was not pursuing my creative endeavors. I have been writing notes on Facebook profile, posting regularly on Instagram and my Facebook page and working on multiple things. While trying to get a hang of Instagram last year, I came across some interesting Apps and have been in love with two of those for obvious reasons. You can use these Apps to write small snippets, poems, haiku, and your musings and reach out the entire world in a jiffy.

And that's how I started putting down my thoughts, from dairy journal to online journal, in the form of digital writings. Here's a glimpse to some my writings of last year. Some are random thoughts, while  many are life lessons. Some are good old memories and some are just inspirations from various sources- books and other fellow writers.

Behind her smile...

Those indelible memories...

It showered love...

Keep dreaming...

Keepin' you safe always...

Give it time...

When you're not there...

The first time I met you...

Taming that wild creature...

And that's how she defined herself...

Happy reading folks!
And if you are inspired and want to write your musings, here's a list of Apps that can come handy to start with.

My Gratitude~

It has been quite some time now and I can say this phase of my life has been worse in one way or the other. Most of the times, I end up meeting fucktards and jerks. I have been questioning myself for days - “Why me!” But there is no answer to it, I guess. It all started with the beginning of the year. However, it has worsened up in past 3 months. This down-phase of my life is so much overpowering me that I can’t manage a single thing around me. There is more to this story and this is seeming to be an on-going war. People have been mean, meaner and perhaps meanest to me for no genuine reasons. Its sheer bad luck that I end up meeting such characters whom I would never ever want to meet in my life ever. After almost seventy days of war with self, I suddenly felt I should feel good about me. At least I am fighting even if the baggage of anger, depression, and rejection troubles me. I don’t know what forced me today to feel good today... Perhaps the girls downstairs have some magic. Perhaps the good wishes of my landlady, while boarding the cab for an interview-cum-discussion, made me feel good. Of course, my family members have been constant support pillar. I don’t deny that fact. Boarded the cab, bumped into a co-passenger who studies Economics at St. Joseph’s College. We talked till she was dropped at her destination point. She was an interesting girl with a lot of plans about her future. As soon as I entered my building complex, I went to my ladlady’s house. Sitting on the sofa, I kept blabbering about my day. Have to say she has some degree of patience to lend her ears to me for hours, for days and days. In that way, I am definitely blessed. At least, she and her kids make me feel like family. She offered me tea and some snacks. Some playtime with her younger kid. Surprisingly she was all cheerful and in play mood. After a while, I lost interest to play with her anymore. And I ended up watching a dumb movie of Akshay Kumar (man, why do you make such horrible movies! You can do better) with her elder daughter and we laughed on the pathetic jokes in the movie. And suddenly she questioned me - “Aunty, you are on which side?” I said left side as I was sitting on her left side. She found my answer funny. With a face-palm gesture, she said- “Whom are you supporting?” I was dumb stuck. I was clueless what to answer because I was under the impression that it is some sort of political question. And I’m an apolitical person. She further probed me- “Are you on Shiv and his brother’s side?” Till then I was not aware that hero (as in Mr. Kumar in the movie) had a brother in the movie and his name was Shiv. And she wanted me to support the hero, his brother and the eternal fight with badmen like any other pathetic Bollywood movie. Oh, did I mention it is a Hindi version of some Telugu movie with every bit of masala in it. Thanks to Prabhudeva ji!

As evening descended, I decided to move my ass from her house, climbed upstairs and entered home. I love my home the most. But since past few months, I don’t stay here as in my soul doesn’t reside here. I feel it’s wandering in some other world. I feel so mechanical. A home without anyone around to chatter to. Sigh! Sob sob!

I sat in front of my laptop to check my mails and search for more job ads. But some sort of inertia has set in today. I couldn’t do anything. Thought to sleep. But sleep and I have eternal enmity. So, instead decided to stay up creative. Crushed the egg-shells and added those to my flower pots. Then again a weird blankness set in. Warmed the tea from the kettle which my benevolent maid had kept for me. But forgot to remove the mug from the microwave oven. Reheated it again. Searched my paint brushes, but in vain. And while searching for one thing, bumped into another. Found a stack of agarbattis of my favorite brand, all the way from Pondicherry. Smelt each packet like a kid. Voila! Suddenly I was feeling good. Took out some new packets of agarbattis to light them. Lit two of them in front of the evergrowing collection of tiny gods and goddesses that I have. The smoke released from the upside down incense stick holder was magical. And slowly the corner started smelling of English rose. I changed the reed diffusers eventually. And the magic of essential oils immediately hit my olfactory senses giving a serious mood uplift. Trust me when I say that! They work like magic.

Within no time, every corner in the house got a different feel and redolence. The small passage near the washbasin smells of spring blossom, whilst the drawing room of cherry blossom and entrance hallway of Patchouli. The bathroom is overdosed with Ylang-Ylang and I think I will sleep there tonight. The bedroom is filled with the fragrance of French lavender. I must have lost a screw of my head to get into such a mode. My house is now smelling of some incense stick/essential oil boutique. But I am loving it. :) And to retain this mode, I make myself a cup of gingerbread tea which Kshitija (alias KK) gifted me from England. As the ‘Drum Invasions by Bikhram Ghosh’ plays for the fourth time, I sit down with my exotic tea to write my feel-good experience of the day. Listen the music here ~ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sH5...

 

(Original Post on Facebook Notes) 

दिल के बाज़ार में~ (In the market of emotions)

दिल के बाज़ार में,
हेरा फेरी नहीं चलती..
ग़लती से ग़लती हो भी जाए तो
तो क्या वो ग़लती नहीं होती है?

डर डर के कब तक चुप रहोगे
चुप रहके ऐसे कब तो जियोगे..
ऐसे सबसे कब तक छुपते रहोगे..
छुपते छुपाते ऐसे कब तक ऐश करोगे?

झूठ की उम्र लंबी नहीं होती
छुपके जीने में कोई महानता नहीं होती..
अगर इंसान हो, इंसान की तरह जियो..
शान से सर उठाके जियो.
थोड़ी से अपनी मान बचके भी जियो..
दिल-ओ-जान से, पूरे अभिमान से
शीना तान के जियो.
हर एक पल को जीके जियो..
अपने लिए नहीं,
अपनो के लिए जियो.

~अमृता त्रिपाठी
****

Let the light come in (रोशनी को आने दो)

रोशनी को आने दो
पर्दा ना गिराओ
खिड़की से बाहर की दुनिया ना देखो
जाओ, जाके तोड़ा शैर तो कर आओ
किसी ने खूब कहा है
आलस तो हराम है
माँ ने बचपन से यही कहा है-
जैसे सोए हुए शेर के मुँह में
शिकार अपने आप नहीं प्रवेश करता
वैसे कुँए का मेंढक बने रहने में मज़ा नहीं आता.

खिड़की से बाहर की दुनिया ना देखो
जाओ, जाके तोड़ा शैर तो कर आओ ..

~ अमृता त्रिपाठी

Bonded with Pain

Stomach aches.. Limbs ache..
Hand ache.. so do legs too..
Joints ache...Muscles ache..
Head aches.. Now heart aches too..
What doesn't ache..!
Aching is a part of me..
For it is in love with me..
Truly and honestly..
My life partner (?) doesn't love me so much..
Not even my in laws do so..
Every one who say that they love me..
Love me less but heart themselves more..
When my husband declared his 'self-love'
I almost felt like a whore..
For him "I love you- you love me"
Meant nothing, but my existence
In this world..!
And not in his world..
Well last night
After that silent fight...
Heart did ache..
Head did too..
I bled too..
Crying in pain,
I realised its all vain.
Pain, that existed in my vein
Is now my life long companion.
Aching is a part of me..
For it is in love with me..

Art of Unprofessionalism and Unethics..

Recently I took up an assignment for someone to do product photography.  Would not like to name the person and the website for whom it was (that would make me sound very mean, but if you are so keen check out Amtrips' Photography; you will know it).

"A certain amount of work deserves certain reward, and, in this case, if you go by usual standards of this kind of work, you would be charged 1000/- per photo". Since I am a newcomer, I didnt asking that kind of money. But that does not mean that the person for whom i did the work will pay 500/- for the whole process- one day of work at your place, traveling to and from your place, and 20 hours of work for editing and processing of the photos and embedding your logo in them (well the person wrote to me saying that what I did so great on the photos that I had to spend 20 hours on that).

The person used the photos in her website and didn’t bother to ask/tell me that she was going to use them on your website. I don’t think this is professional conduct. Do you think she did right?Well she didn't feel sad and apologetic about her conduct.

Communication gap: I provided you the photos within 3 days of the day I shoot the products, and I have to pester her  for an acknowledgement of that (by asking again and again whether she got the photos or not, for a feedback so that i can work on the rest items)?

And guess what when the feedback came after 3 reminders, almost after 8 days!
Let me quote it in her words directly "Ohh I thought I messaged we received the images. Feedback is not great about the photos. The jewellery designer is not happy about her pictures. Orissa bottles also some photos came out well but others need to be fixed. Will call in the evening to discuss."

Doesn't mean I am a dumb clicker or a shoddy not-so-professional person?!?
Apparently she has been seeing my work on my Facebook page Amtrips Photography (that she invited me based on the photos I have clicked, (which indeed proves that neither I am "fresh" photographer nor that I don't know A to Z of  photography) and she did mention once she liked my work. Well words change in a day in today's world.!! And what does it mean by "on-trail basis" ... !! LOL
Does that mean if its trail basis work , you pay some one just a peanut amount for all the creativity, hard work and sincere efforts??

My only question to all sensible readers out there: If the work was not great and shoddy, if the designer didnt like it... why was I not informed on time.. Second, why did she not dump those pictures. Rather she used all the snaps I had sent her to upload in her webpage... Darn...! How mean!

I strongly feel of there was so much injustice to the products  (as per her the photos were not professional and not GREAT or whatever) and her designer in that case.
Just because some designer (sitting in some part of the country) felt that the photos are not entirely satisfactory, all that I did doesn’t go down the drain. Just taking your things to a studio, putting them on a white cloth and then clicking away and straightaway giving it to the person would take hardly any effort. If that is the kind of work  that is appreciated (that was apparently expected from me), sorry, I am not the one to do it.

My only stand point: "Still if you feel that the photos are not upto standard, then you should not have put them on your website, whereas you have used 46 out of 48 photos! That indeed is surprising… so you should be paying me 100/- per photo at least. Now that you have used them, pay me 100/- per photo, or take them off from your website, return the photos to me, and pay me for my work-that can’t be less than 3000/-, I have worked more than 3 days for it.
Contact some professionals from the industry if you want to know what is right. And that won’t change my stand, because I have already done that, after hearing from you that the photos are not good. Your not being able to pay me more doesn’t mean you’ll pay me 500/-. How much do you spend if you go out to eat in a restaurant?"

The the response I got to this was not so easy...!
She quoted me  and my work unprofessional and I being unethical for charging her so high- and that I am a fresh photographer (which means that I dont know any damn thing of photography) and that if I have to accept that, i have  or else take that 500 bucks and keep quiet... And blah blah...!

And just saying that "we will take out the photos from OUR website and close this chapter" is not the way such so called professional- and -ethics bound-people deal with others...!
And still some of my photos sit in their website...!

To see my photos , you can visit: https://www.facebook.com/AmtripsPhotography
and
http://www.tripathyamrita.blogspot.in/

That Kiss

With that Morning Kiss
I realized..what I missed
That kiss, 
which I miss
Had again made me energized..!

~Amtrips